Signs Your Teen Might Be Struggling With Anxiety (And How to Help)

ANXIETY IN TEENS DOESN’T ALWAYS LOOK LIKE WORRY

Sometimes when we picture anxiety, we picture a worried face, maybe a nervous stomach, or someone visibly on edge. In teens, those may be present but it can also often show up differently.

Common signs that are easy to misread:

Irritability and anger: An anxious teen is often a snappy teen. When the nervous system is on high alert, it doesn’t always produce tears openly. Rather, it can produce a short fuse.

You don’t need to see all of these to be concerned. A clear change in your teen from what was normal for them is the most important signal that something may be wrong.

• Avoidance: This may look like suddenly not wanting to go to school, skipping social events they used to love or procrastinating on everything. Anxiety can hide behind “I just don’t feel like it.”
• Physical complaints: This includes but is not limited to frequent stomachaches, headaches, trouble sleeping, and low energy. Anxiety lives in the body, and in teens it often shows up physically before it shows up emotionally.
• Perfectionism: This is a very common sign in an anxious teen! The “model student” who’s falling apart internally because any grade below an A feels like catastrophe. This is also seen outside of academic settings (sports, family dynamics, friend etc)
• Withdrawing from friends or family: An anxious teen may begin to spend more time alone, pulling away from activities and overall being less communicative than usual.
• Catastrophic thinking: This is seen in the form of jumping straight to the worst-case scenario about grades, friendships, their appearance, the future, etc.

WHAT TO DO (AND WHAT NOT TO DO)

1. Start with listening, not fixing

When your teen opens up, even a little — resist the urge to immediately solve. “Have you tried…?” is almost always the wrong first response because chances are they either have tried that or they just need you to validate their experience and how difficult it is for them. Try: “That sounds really hard. Tell me more.” Teens who feel truly heard and not judged are far more likely to keep talking.

2. Don’t minimize it

“You have no reason to be anxious” or “Other kids have it way worse” will shut down the conversation instantly. Their anxiety is real, whether you fully understand it or the cause seems proportional or not. Meet your teen right where they’re at.

3. Normalize getting help

Some teens resist therapy because they think it means something is wrong with them. Reframe it and encourage them that nothing is wrong with them. Normalize how many people feel anxious. This could sound like: “Therapy is a way for you to have a safe space to talk with someone outside of us (your parents) and get help so you can stop feeling so much anxiety. It’s for learning skills and tools, the same way you might work with a tutor for math or a trainer for sports.”

WHEN TO GET PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT

Consider reaching out to a therapist if:

• The anxiety is interfering with daily life (school, sleep, friendships, eating)
• You’re seeing significant changes in mood or behavior that last more than a couple of weeks
• Your teen is expressing hopelessness, isolating themselves, or saying things that concern you
• You’ve tried supportive conversations at home and things aren’t improving or they aren’t willing to talk with someone.

A therapist can give your teen tools they don’t have yet and give you guidance on how to support them best at home.

HOW I WORK WITH TEENS

In my practice, I see teens (13+) for anxiety, depression, stress, and a range of other concerns. My approach is warm and practical because teens need to feel like they’re being treated as the whole person they are, not like a problem to be solved. I prioritize getting to know them and their likes/dislikes as well as working through the presenting issues. I use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy, mindfulness-based tools, attachment-informed work and other therapeutic techniques, tailored to each teen.

I also partner with parents as appropriate. Teens need both privacy in therapy and a family system that supports what they’re working on. Getting that balance right is part of the work

If you’re in Allen, Plano, McKinney, or anywhere in Texas and you’re wondering whether therapy might help your teen, I’d be glad to talk. Please reach out so we can determine if we’re a good fit and I can provide next steps. Simply reach out here to get started.